This post started out as a post about how I became a flight attendant, but in order to tell that story, I need to tell the one of when/why I quit my old job.
Prior to becoming a flight attendant, I worked in the fashion industry, something people I work with currently find extremely fascinating. Some even exclaim “Oooh, like The Devil Wears Prada?!?!” I always laugh because I LOVE The Devil Wears Prada, but mostly because I wish my office were like the movie. I could have survived in that environment.
Working in fashion was always my dream. Yes, it sounds cliche, but I loved fashion ever since I was a little girl. I remember being about 7 or 8 years old and learning about Oscar de la Renta. My Barbies were only allowed to wear the “Fashion Avenue Collection,” and there would be daily fashion shows. I would draw garments and learn everything I could that was available to me about this magical world. In my mind, it was my destiny.
When I graduated college in 2012, the job market was absolute garbage. I applied to major fashion houses, start ups, you name it. I had two side-gigs (full-time blogging and selling handmade jewelry) that kept me busy and with a steady-ish income, but I still had this dream of working in the fashion industry. With the help of a recruiter, 18 months after I graduated I landed a freelance gig initially as an assistant then as an assistant brand manager for an apparel company I had never heard of.
It was a role I fell into effortlessly as much of what I had learned from blogging (social media, photography, photo editing, writing) and my love of marketing and business were essential assets to the position. Being able to utilize my creativity as well as my degree was more than I could have dreamed of for my first job. Sure, the pay was terrible and there were many issues within the company, but I loved going into work everyday and that was important to me.
One of the best parts of my branding job: getting to assist, and sometimes direct, on photoshoots.
But as any freelancer knows, work doesn’t last forever and even though the majority of the team wanted to keep me on, the budget just didn’t allow for it. (Not actually true but for the sake of civility, we will just say that’s why.) I was devastated. This was my dream job! Brand manager positions were scarce in the industry at the time (since the role was a relatively new one,) but I refused to give up on what I wanted. I would just have to live out my dreams elsewhere.
About two weeks after my last day, I got a call about an opening in another department at the same company. It was a new role in the production (manufacturing) department with “lots of growth potential.” Production is an interesting aspect of the fashion industry. It’s where a designer’s vision becomes a tangible, hopefully profitable, product. The role was a lot more analytical (so many Excel spreadsheets) with very little creativity. It’s not what I saw for myself at all, but I kept an open mind because it was an opportunity. “This role is a perfect fit for you!”* my future boss insisted. I interviewed and accepted the job offer the following week.
(*Perfect fit aka they were desperate to fill the role because the person they initially hired worked for one day before leaving the following day for lunch, never to return again.)
I settled into my new role very quickly. A lot quicker than I, my peers or my boss expected. There were a few reasons for this, namely my role was very similar to what I did for my jewelry business and that I’m a fast learner. But I also had a lot of downtime as my emails and other duties took only 2 hours in the day to complete. Sometimes I would come into work and have nothing to do. I was able to learn my job as well as the job of my peers in no time. (This came in very handy when people would call out of work last minute.)
Soon, it all became very monotonous. I wanted to do more because I knew I could do more. Ideas to improve the role? Mocked and met with ridicule. Request for more work fell on deaf ears or worse, given to interns instead. Interns with no experience were getting job offers with salaries much bigger than mine. I was severely underpaid, undervalued and underutilized. On top of that, my work environment could be described as hostile at best. I was bullied and harassed on countless occasions and over time, it all started to wear on me.
Despite everything, I stayed. For all the wrong reasons. Although paltry, I could count on a paycheck every two weeks, I had health benefits but most importantly, I was gaining experience and building my resume.
By January of 2016, almost two years in production, I had enough experience at this point to start applying for jobs elsewhere. Most of the jobs I applied to were met with interviews. As much as I wanted to get back into a marketing role, the majority of my experience was now in production, so it’s what I applied for.
Just as I was about to accept an offer, I got a promotion.
I couldn’t believe it. I somehow forgot about everything else that had happened (aka all the reasons I was job hunting in the first place). So I stayed.
And things went from bad to worse.
All the stress lead to a crippling ulcer which led to me having severe acid reflux that required medication. I was taking regular mental health days. I started gaining weight. Things had become so routine that I was bored. It’s one thing to have a job that’s stressful and demanding with reward. It’s another to work in an environment that is hostile and toxic as well. Something had to change.
It was August and I was leaving for Europe for vacation. My plan was to completely unplug and relax for the week, and start applying for jobs when I returned. I never liked the idea of leaving a job without one lined up, so if all else failed, I planned to stay in my job until the end of the year. I had been building a safety net of savings for at least a year, and would continue to do so.
Between the fresh mozzarella and 10 am wine tastings, I had a distinct moment of clarity while we were in Sorrento, Italy. For the first time in a long time I was happy and not anxious. I had no reflux or migraines. I felt amazing. All the reasons I felt like I had to stay at my job didn’t feel like legitimate reasons anymore. This job wasn’t worth the stress, and I could do and be better elsewhere. My health and happiness were most important and I deserved better. I decided right then and there that when I returned home, I would hand in my resignation two weeks later.
Make a wish, pray like hell it comes true.
I returned to work the following week looking “refreshed.” (I had that “I’m quitting” liberation glow.) My plan was to give my notice, two weeks after I returned to work, but things did not go as planned. I intended to stay until mid-September, but after a threat from my supervisor and a long back and forth with HR, I handed in my notice and had my last day of work ONE. WEEK. after I returned. It was incredibly frustrating and dramatic, but ultimately, it all worked out in the end. It was the epitome of ripping the bandaid off. I was finally free.
Leaving my job was a huge risk. While I had some savings, being unemployed indefinitely is tough. I hated not knowing when I would be employed (aka have a steady paycheck) again. But the time off gave me a chance to think and reflect. It gave me a chance to regroup and become a better version of myself. More than anything, it gave me a chance to think about what I wanted from my job and my career.
In the end it’s as they say: everything happens for a reason. I know, I know, it’s cliche af. But I needed to work in such a terrible environment to learn and discover just what my career should be. To learn that life is too short to work a shitty job. Ultimately, everything brought me to where I am today, in a job that I love at a company I adore. And that is more than I could have ever dreamed for.
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